Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Misleading Theories of Parenting---------Argumentive Essay

Each person has a different personality, depending on his/her dissimilar backgrounds, education and culture. Furthermore, one of the main factors that shape a child personality is the way he/she was raised upon. Parenting is a very hard responsibility, which is not limited to providing food and shelter to their responsible ones. In other words, parents’ role is not only to cover the primary needs, but it should also be concerned to the children’s’ future. Parents should shape children’s knowledge, behaviors and values, which may help them face the real life in the future. Potentially “poor” thinking tendencies,which leaders have are directly affected during their childhood period. Leaders’ positive and negative attitudes are mostly reflection for what they have been nurtured since they were children. Vividness and Anecdotal Evidence is one major thinking issue, especially if it is combined with Ego-Defensiveness. Lot of people is unaware of Anecdotal Evidence so let’s first clear this thing. As we all know that there isn’t a single concrete definition of Anecdotal evidence it has many definitions. This explains the fact how certain types of evidences can’t be used to logically extract result or conclude something. This is commonly observed in commercials we see daily, for instance, a person claims that he feels his breath fresher after using toothpaste of some famous brand or women testify that acne is permanently removed due to consistent use of certain product. Usually this trend is observed that these sorts of evidences are often used in place of scientific or clinical evidence and one can blindly ignore the research or some hard evidence that may result in opposite conclusion or proving it wrong.

Thesis Statement: Vividness, and ego-defensiveness, are an example of negative characteristics that are usually received during parenting time (because of negative parenting)

Paragraph 1: How Parenting lead to vividness
Parenting style is mainly derived from their upbringing and from the society they live in. Each parent prefers using different theory, such as authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. In my opinion, authoritarian parents are the worst style of parenting, and it is inherited generation after another.  One of the problems that children from authoritarian families face is that they are less socially adept. These children are brought up following the rules. In addition, as when they reach the age of teenagers, they are not socially accepted, this may be due to the lack of presence. “Widely-cited studies of American adolescents have reported that teens with authoritarian parents were the least likely to feel socially accepted by their peers. They were also rated as less self-reliant (Lamborn et al 1991; Steinberg et al 1992; Steinberg et al 1994). The Teenage is an essential stage, where the children personality is formed. The difficulty is that the problem does not only stop that they are not accepted; however these children are experiencing bullying as well. “When researchers questioned 231 young adolescents about their cultural values and experiences with peers, they found that kids from authoritarian homes were more likely to have experienced bullying -- both as victims and perpetrators” (Georgiou et al 2013).
As soon as they grew and get in positions to take decisions, they start imitate their parents exactly. They do not see that any other opinion could be right, but what they have been taught. If someone challenges them with an opposite opinion to theirs, they feel lost. In other words, these leaders learned -when they were children- what to do instead of how to do. Hence, being an authoritarian parent will definitely harm the child personality, which will affect negatively his future. It has been found that in the process of treating other as less important and create conflict with other person’s interests and thinking has great impact on one’s personality. For him taking an opinion from other is not an option, and he wants to make every situation a win/win situation.

Establishing that vividness is a negative behavior
The attitudes of children are mostly affected by the surrounding environment along with parent’s behavior that they receive at the early stage of childhood development. Sometimes they get proper environment or treat meant and sometimes they do not. The children who are deprived from getting appropriate environment to grow suffer in the long run. As a result that these children face difficulties in their school life, they suffer from emotional problems. These children usually have a high level of anxiety, depression, anger and low self-esteem. These children always find difficulty in adapting with their peers, which affect their behavior. The reason behindthe anxiety is that parents punish children and do not leave them the chance to any mistakes. “German researchers found that teens with authoritarian parents were more likely to suffer from trait anxiety. They were also more likely to experience depersonalization--the feeling of watching oneself act without being in control of one’s actions”. (Wolfradt et al 2003). The anger afterwards is followed by the depression. And depression is considered a form of physiological problems that must lead to life instability. In addition to this vividness information is described as emotionally engaging in people.  Sometimes the effects of parenting leads negative aspects. For example the negative affects results from confinement on father engagement with children and co-parenting with children’s mothers, but only possible as longas fathers are living with their children prior to incarceration. Forming a strong bond with parents lead development of child behavior to a more positive way that the weak bonding with parents.  Research also suggests that forming close attachment with parent helps to each to feel close to each other and enable to learn how to tackle the situation together.

Topic 2: Ego-Defensiveness--this “poor” thinking tendency highlights the belief that one can not be wrong or assumes a high opinion of one’s self
The archaeopsychis state of the ego is considered much more complex which is made of fixation at the earlier stages of development. It is a set of feeling, attitudes or behavior pattern which characterized as individual’s thought is the best. it is a singular form  that somewhat misleading to children that come through a  number of phases or and stages (Erikson, 1950). It is a thinking that considereverything is own ignoring others believe or thinking as mine is the best. It is the most basic tent of self defense perceived integrity and worth of self. This attitude is "a relatively enduring organization of beliefs, feelings, and behavioral tendencies towards socially significant objects, groups, events or symbols" (Hogg & Vaughan 2005, p. 150).Ego defensive is maladaptive in the sense that they forestall learning from important even though threatening, experiences and information.Besides, peoples attempt to protect themselves may threaten the integrity of the relationships to other (Cohen et al., 2005;Murray, Holmes, MacDonald, & Ellsworth, 1998). Ego-expression is the attitude when a person expresses who he/she is; and feels good about him/herself as he/she asserts a unique identity (Mcleod, 2009).  Some people lack to balance between self-confidence and ego defensive attitudes. Great leaders must have self-confidence attitude. Being self-confident does not mean that the person’s opinion is always right.  In fact, great leaders are those who are humble and easy to admit their mistakes. They act like humble, respect others, don’t stick only to their decisions.
A lot of people think that great leaders have to create an aura of prestige around them, and keep a distance between them and their followers. This concept is completely wrong. As a matter of fact, reality is the complete opposite. It was proved that humbleness and humility are essential values for great leaders. In a study that covered 1,435 fortune 500 companies, made by Jim Collins, the management guru, only 11 met the criteria he put for greatness.  According to his definition, greatness is garnering stock returns at least three times the market’s. After analyzing these 11 companies, it was found that the common qualities these 11 companies share are the Humility and Professional will of their leaders.  He called it the “Level 5 leadership”. Leadership scenario can be developed to a child in a better way in which the consequences are made in a positive way that.

Parents greatly interfere with the development of child behavior properly. Children are considered like sponge model where everything a parent does is copied and followed by the children that they see into their parents. Vividness and ego-defensive are the examples result from misleading of parenting. Parents are the key role player to develop child behavior morally and socially acceptable. So, it is the duty of a parent to set right measurement to their children so that negative example cannot lead the development of child behavior in a negative way.

Hogg, M., & Vaughan, G. (2005). Social Psychology (4th edition). London: Prentice-Hall.
McLeod, S. A. (2009). Attitudes and Behavior. Retrieved from (http://www.simplypsychology.org/attitudes.html)
Erikson, E. (1950). Childhood and society. New York: Norton & Co
Cohen, G. L., Sherman, D. K., McGoey, M., Hsu, L., Bastardi, A., & Ross, L. D. (2005).
Bridging the partisan divide: SelfaYrmation and the reduction of ideological bias. Manuscriptunder review.

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